Whataburger

Pictured: Not the only Whataburger in America.

The Whatafarm is a burger topped with a breaded chicken patty, bacon, cheese and a fried egg. I first learned of it when Zach IM’ed me a link to the Seven Hamburgers of the Apocalypse. They say it’s “an entire farm in a burger.”

Talk about timing. In just a few days I’d be taking a road trip to Louisiana with the wife and kid -- and there was totally a Whataburger on our route. Score.

After a long day in the car, when we finally got there I was mad hungry. I walked up to the counter and ordered a Whatafarm, only for the lady at the register to look at me as if I was talking a brand new kind of malarkey -- which would be a feat considering Whataburger is open 24/7 so you know they get some crazies.

Tentatively attempting to make sense of my gibberish, she asked me, “The what...a...what?” I tried to explain that the Whatafarm is a menu item that I had seen on the Internet that apparently some other Whataburgers offered. She seemed to find the concept of multiple Whataburger locations to be equally daunting. “Other...Whataburgers?” Cutting my losses, I opted to just suck it up and order a double meat Whataburger.

Now, I’ve had Whataburger before, but my experience may or may not need an asterisk by it -- I was in Tulsa with the Pfannenstiel brothers after seeing a show at Cain’s, home of sixers of Bud for sale still in the rings. Not to mention I’m guessing the Iron Chefs of the Whataburger empire aren’t scheduled for 104 bla’glock in the morning (not a time or a measurement of time, per David Cross). So while the burgers served at that hour may be worthy of the average customer’s condition, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re up to Whataburger’s A-game.

I’m glad to report that my burger today was way tasty. Certainly the least greasy, freshest-tasting fast food burger I’ve had. Nicely toasted bun with two juicy patties, a couple of slices of melty cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles and mustard. Better yet, orange and white mints for after you’re done!

Add the double meat Whataburger to the list of fast food I wish I could get in Kansas City. Straight-up delicious, no gimmicks -- I’m looking at you, Burger King’s Loaded Steakhouse Burger.

I still want the Whatafarm, though. To that end, I’ve confirmed the closest Whataburger is in fact four hours away in Tulsa, Okla.

I’m thinking about it. Hey, Jeff and Ryan -- when are we going back to Cain’s?

UPDATE 10/23/08: Shaw found scoop on what up with the Whatafarm. This changes nothing.
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This location was somewhere in or near Shreveport, La.