The Winstrosity at Winstead's

In which we go Frankenstein on the Winstead’s menu.

The Winstrosity is a sandwich consisting of a Winstead’s burger, fried chicken breast, fried egg, cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, onion rings, pickles, mustard and ketchup. It’s the Kansas City version of a Whatafarm, which I started craving big time during the NCAA tournament thanks to the relentless airing of Whataburger spots. Such a tease since the closest Whataburger is hours away.

Our server at Winstead’s was surprisingly receptive when Shaw, Dorsett and I showed her the schematic detailing what we wanted. She took it with her, and returned a couple of minutes later with an update -- the cooks were all over the Winstrosity, although they were going to have to vary the precise order of toppings from our diagram to make the sandwich architecturally sound.

I like to think they were back there in the kitchen with protractors and a chalkboard figuring out the ideal sandwich construction strategy. Good thing we nixed the idea of a chili dog layer which we’d given brief consideration to during the Winstrosity planning stages. Can’t imagine that would’ve been beneficial to the sandwich’s structural integrity.

A key difference between the Whatafarm and the Winstrosity lies in the onions. As side orders are key to the Winstead’s experience, we concluded it was necessary to incorporate them into the sandwich. Thinking fries would’ve been a bit too starchy, we went with onion rings on the Winstrosity instead of raw onions like on the Whatafarm.

Our sandwiches arrived and we dug in. The Winstrosity was scary delicious -- way more than the sum of its many, many parts. The burger patty and bacon set a carnivorous stage for the juicy chicken, crispy onion rings and an excellent fried egg. No single flavor overwhelmed any of the others. Total menu harmony on a bun. My Winstrosity plus a large soda ran me $12.20.

There’s one more big difference between the Whatafarm and the Winstrosity that we didn’t anticipate. Due to a Whataburger’s circumference and general increased heftiness, the Winstrosity isn’t quite the chunk that a Whatafarm is. This is not a bad thing -- with the Winstrosity you get all the tasty, none of the regret. Maybe a little regret. Not much. A trace amount.

Don’t get me wrong, though -- we’re still talking about a monster sandwich. Yet perhaps it is callous and unfeeling to call it the Winstrosity, for it is not the sandwich’s fault that it is such a beast. It was our creation. Perhaps the real monster…is us.

(Dramatic pause for reflection.)

Anyway, while we were at Winstead’s, we totally had a vision for a new breakfast sandwich -- The Swinestead A.M. It’ll be sausage, ham, bacon, a fried egg, hash browns and gravy on an English muffin. Who’s in?
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Winstead's on the Plaza
101 Brush Creek Blvd, Kansas City, MO 64112