Taco Bell Quesalupa

It's o-queso at best.

On Thursday, we preordered Taco Bell’s latest menu item online, without even knowing what it is — just that they're heralding it as their Biggest Idea Ever. And the suspense began as we waited for our sneak preview today. Holding out for tomorrow’s official announcement during Super Bowl 50 was not an option.

The confirmation email that many hours were lost to as we stared at it in anticipation.

Spoiler alert: It’s a Quesalupa, as in combination quesadilla-chalupa. So “Biggest Idea Ever,” only if the goal was to come up with a way to get Robert to Taco Bell in the middle of the afternoon stone cold sober. Then yes, this is an unqualified success.

The Quesalupa concept, however, is underwhelming to say the least. Come on — they’ve been wrapping up standard menu items in cheese for years. It’s Taco Bell’s signature move.

Aside from all that, regarding the Quesalupa itself, it’s tasty but ultimately not nearly as questionable as we like our Bell creations. Piled with lettuce, tomatoes and cheese, this much too closely resembles food. There is zero danger here — not like we want when we’re livin’ mas.

The heart of this thing is the cheese-filled puffy flatbread shell. Per Shaw, it’s like a buttery Grands! biscuit, laced with cheddar and pounded flat. “This is not a bad thing,” he said. The cheese is just the right kind of melty to get those nom-nom strings going when you pull it away after taking a bite. Otherwise, it’s pretty much a Taco Supreme.

So how does the Quesalupa stack up to a standard issue Chalupa? We don’t know. As those are $2.49, neither of us has ever had one.

That we even paid a ridiculous $2.99 for a Quesalupa is something that would never have happened had we known what we were getting — besides, of course, the chance to be a part of history. At the end of the day, preferably after midnight and at least a few beers, there are better ways to spend three bucks at Taco Bell.